December 5th

Fort Hood, Texas was our first active duty station after Layden was commissioned as an Army Chaplain in 1995. We were there for a total of 4 years. One year Layden decided it would be great fun to set up our video camcorder to record the kids opening presents Christmas morning. He put it on a tripod facing the tree. Of course we were all in pajamas – new because we always get new pajamas Christmas Eve. The boys had no problem with the whole thing. For us girls it was a different matter. We stayed well behind the camera as much as possible. When it was our turn to get a present we would dart in and back as quick as we could. The video was a combination of gleeful boys and blurry flannel nightgowns. Bluebonnets, the Texas state flower, don’t bloom in winter, but we are happy to have them bloom with good memories on our tree every Christmas.

Historical note – No cell phones back then that could take pictures, let alone videos. Mobile phones were slightly smaller than a regular phone handset and could make and receive calls. Just that – nothing else. Video capability on cell phones wasn’t commercially available until about 2002, and was not a standard feature of phones.

December 4th

A miniature gumball machine! The stand is actually made of metal and is heavy for its size. The dome is acrylic and filled with glass seed beads as the gumballs – very clever. It came from a Secret Santa gift exchange, so the giver remains a mystery. That is part of the fun of this whimsical ornament. Every year when we hang it on the tree we speculate who the giver might have been. We also remember being part of a good group of friends, which is an important component of military life. We were almost always stationed far away from home, missing parents, children, brothers and sisters. Friends became our substitute family.

December 3rd

Though dated 1980, this rocking horse wasn’t completed until 1981. It hung on the tree for Stephen’s first Christmas. I doubt he remembers the event because he was not quite 3 months old, but he does know that is his horse. He is patiently waiting for it to join the rest of his ornaments. When he got married, one of his gifts their first Christmas was all the Christmas ornaments that had been given to him over the years. Except this one – I am hanging on to it for a while longer because it reminds me of my first Christmas as a mother and how wondrous it was to have a baby of my own. It also reminds me of Mary and her first time as a mother which makes the Christmas story feel more personal.

The hat I made for myself. It had a pair of matching mittens which belonged to Stephen’ s Dad. These ornaments came as small embroidery kits. They were on sale because they were last year’s designs. I find it a bit odd that Christmas ornaments and decor have “trends” such as rustic plaid one year, bright red and green the next, metallics another, but they do. In this case, it worked in my favor. I was able to save money and indulge in one of my favorite hobbies – needlework. And, despite being designs from 1979, I don’t think they have lost one bit of charm or Christmas cheer.

December 2nd

I don’t remember when I got this small (less than 2 inches beak to tail) hand-painted wooden bird, but I know I have had it since I was a little girl. We lived in an adobe house in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It had a big picture window in the living room and we usually put the tree in front of it. I remember my father, who was about 6’4″, would hang the bird at the tip of a high branch so I could imagine it was really flying through the wintry blue sky. Years later, my Mom sent it to me my first Christmas on my own. It was lovely to have a reminder of family and childhood. Over time, it has come to represent the kindness of my father and his recognition of the importance of imagination, and the wisdom of my mother knowing the comfort of the familiar in the midst of new beginnings.

December 1st

Christmas Mouse Decorating the Tree

‘Tis the season to decorate! This little mouse is a pre-fired piece of ceramic that I painted in the Craft Center at Brigham Young University in the summer of 1981. In those days, the Craft Center was located downstairs in the Wilkinson Center, around the corner from the bowling alley. It was also near the bus stop and passenger pick-up point – no for-pay ride sharing in those days, just carpools of friends or family economizing by commuting together. Very handy as I lived in Pleasant Grove, Utah at the time, a distance of about 24 miles. Not too far, but far enough to be happy to share the fuel cost, which was about $1.40 a gallon. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but in 2025 money that would be about $4.99

Anyway, the Craft Center was a great place to spend the time between my last class and my ride pick-up. The ornaments were about $1.00 each, which included the paint, the brushes, and the studio space. This was quite a bargain for young cash-strapped college students expecting their first baby in the fall. I made three ornaments over the course of about 6 weeks and they all hung on a fresh cut sparsely ornamented Christmas tree placed in the corner farthest away from the wood-burning stove. This is the lone survivor.

Here We Go – Again

Hi there. I have been reviewing some of my writing and came across a personal essay that was picked up by The War Horse, a great site that publishes stories, essay, and journalism related to the true costs of war and military service. I wrote this piece in 2020, before the pandemic, political divides, and escalating conflicts. There are some updates.

I chose to write from the standpoint of Mom/Wife, but I do acknowledge that there are many – more than you might think – Dad/Husbands, and other combinations of spouses and miliary service. My husband did indeed retire after 36 years of military service. My son joined the Naval Reserve. He is currently deployed – again. We are all glad that, for the moment at least, our son/husband/father is serving in a support role away from conflict zones. I am sharing this because, even though I have been through this twice before, much of the sentiment I wrote about still applies.

https://thewarhorse.org/when-its-hard-to-be-mom/

If you would like to read more pieces like this, I invite you to check out The War Horse website: https://thewarhorse.org/

First Bandelier Poem is Out in the World!

Many thanks to Arvilla Fee for accepting 3 of my poems and 1 photograph in the first issue of Soul Poetry, Prose and Art Magazine. My poems are on pp 23-25. Here is the link: https://soulpoetry7.com/soul-poetry-prose-arts-magazine-issue-1-volume-1-upon-these-wings/

The poem on page 24, Abert’s Squirrel, is the first published poem directly from my time in Bandelier National Monument as an Artist in Residence. Abert’s Squirrel is a delightful species, curious, talkative, very cute, smart, but not always wise. I spent quite a bit of time observing them in Frijoles Canyon. It is not surprising that they show up in several poems. In this case, one is juxtaposed against the experience of being out in the open and surprised by a thunderstorm.

Abert’s Squirrel

We are halfway to the high mesa overlook
to watch canyon streams flow into desert river,
to wait for the moon to rise, see it
plate the world in a wealth of silver,
when suddenly the northward sky takes on a shroud
of dark clouds, lightning forking the horizon.

We know it is rash to continue on exposed, yet
we stand, listening for thunder, undecided,
like the tassel-eared Abert’s squirrel
stretched full length on sun-warm adobe,
loath to leave his spot on the roof
though winged shadows flicker over him.

For what pleasures
will we risk the hawk?

Again, many thanks to Arvilla for bringing these words to her lovely virtual page, to Sally King, National Park Service for the photo, and to the Abert’s Squirrel.

Artist-in-Residence Signing Out

Yesterday was my glorious gift of one more day. I savored sharing this wonderful place with my supportive and patient husband. He came here to keep me company on the long drive home, not realizing that once he was here I was home already…. But, my turn here is done and there will be a new AIR for October who will get to enjoy the cozy comforts of the casita, the marvelous park staff, and the canyon arrayed in fall splendor. I am grateful to Bandelier National Monument for having an Artist-in-Residence program, and for choosing me to be a part of it. I loved my time here. I learned much, gained a keen appreciation for what keeps a park open and welcoming to the public, and appreciate the chance I had to be part of this place.

An important component of being an AiR is to have some public-facing activities. One of the things I did was conduct some mini-workshops with park visitors. That was fun. But my favorite thing was to invite people to write something about their time here in the park and then share it. I created some prompt cards that made it easy for them to write micro-fiction or a poem to be shared and displayed in the park. I chose this because I believe that taking the time to write about a place we are in or that we visit adds a dimension that enriches our experiences. Taking pictures with a cell phone or buying a souvenir at the gift shop are good ways to remember a place, but writing connects us in a way that other things do not. Writing invites us to reflect, to think about details, like temperature or the feel of the breeze, that don’t show up in photos. I hope the writing that people did here will become part of their treasured memories, and I also hope that they will want to write more about places they go and things they experience. Here are a few of my favorite submissions:

Display board in the Visitor Center

Like it has for other visitors, the Bandelier entrance sign has disappeared from my rear-view mirror. But this month will linger in memory for a long time. It will show up in things I write, and in ways that I look at the world. The canyon is not much changed by my presence in it, but I am changed by its presence in me. Thanks for sharing my journey. And, just in case you want to do some writing of your own, here are the prompts.

The Gift of One More Day

When I arrived in Bandelier on September 1st, I knew I would have to leave on September 30th, which means I knew exactly my allotted time. Somehow, knowing a fixed date makes each day seem valuable and precious. And, as those days draw to a close, it is natural to wish for one more hour, one more afternoon, one more day. So I asked if I could leave on October 1st instead. My wish was granted.

Today was the gift of one more day here in this wonderful canyon. One more day to drive to the Valles Caldera, hoping to see some elk and maybe hear them bugling, something I had been hoping for all month. This morning, that wish was fulfilled.

Looking in to Valles Caldera from NM Highway 4

One more day to spend time at the Visitor Center, enjoying the Rangers, the people, and the Pueblo Revival architecture.

Bandelier Visitor Center, Back Porch and Pueblo Loop Trailhead

One more chance to hike the Tyuonyi (QU-wee-neh) Overlook Trail, seeing sunset in the canyon from the mesa.

Tyuonyi Village ruins from the Overlook trail.
Sunset, Frijoles Canyon

One more night to watch the sun sink below the horizon, watching stars prick the growing dark one by one, until finally the Milky Way spills itself across the sky.

Milky Way over Bandelier (photo courtesy of NewMexico.org)

Every day should be treasured as if it were that one more day. One more day to hear the voice of someone we love. One more day to hold someone’s hand, hear someone’s story. One more day with a sweetheart, best friend, parent, child. One more day to see how small we are in the vast expanse of space and yet how precious each one of us truly is. One more day to pray for peace, work towards understanding, to care for our little blue planet that sustains us all. One more day to see the world for the wondrous miracle that it is, to take time, even for a moment, to be grateful, to stand in awe-struck amazement that, even in the worst of circumstances, we are here, alive, and full of light.

So Little Time…

It is the 29th of September, my penultimate day as the Artist in Residence here at Bandelier National Monument. It has been a marvelous month, rich with experiences, sights, sounds, and the wonderful people here that have made my time so rewarding. With all that I have been able to do, there is still more to learn and understand. For example, I would like to know more about the endangered species here:

Jemez Mountains Salamander (NPS photo)
New Mexico Meadow Jumping Mouse (a great title for a poem – and yes, there is one in the works!)
Yellow-Billed Cuckoo

I was lucky enough to get to observe at the bird banding station. I was amazed at how quickly the bird banders worked and how careful they are to keep bird stress at a minimum. An experienced bander can band a bird, determine species/sub-species, age, health, feather condition, size and weight in less than 2 minutes. Bird banding helps to track migration patterns, species frequency in a given area, how birds are feeding, and whether or not a bird species is increasing or declining. Studying birds can help understand the impact of fire, drought, snow levels, and other climate phenomenon. It is a very interesting science.

Alicia Bachman, lead bird bander, with a Flicker she has just banded and is ready to release.

This is just one of the many marvelous opportunities I have had during my time here. I am deeply grateful to all the people who have shared their knowledge, expertise, and most of all, their time. It has been a truly remarkable experience.